Why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch over this tiny bit of snow in Nashville? It was sixty degrees yesterday. It’s not going to sick to the roads. Chill.
I also feel the need to say that with my vehicular limitations, as well as the mental ones of those surrounding me in traffic, I also suck at driving. I just had a conversation with the boy about how many things I have hit and wrecks that I’ve been in, and yes, I’m a magnet.
1: Broke an axle when I hit a curb. Drove it home and got blessed out by dad.
2: Did a 360º in rush hour traffic when one of my tires exploded (on a major highway in Chattanooga). A stranger ran from a collision repair place in sight of the incident and changed my tire for me. Never spoke, just ran up and changed it and left. I, luckily, didn’t hit anyone.
3: I slid the front end of my mother’s Saturn under the rear end of a minivan on a hill in the rain. The air bags never deployed.
4: I hit a boundary pylon at Student Health Services in college, and set it to about a 30º angle. They were bleeding me for money anyway, so I said peace and ran. I million pardons.
5: On my way to a new job after Christmas, while navigating ice & snow, I rear ended someone going 15 mph. It was a pickup truck that I offended, and my station wagon was so worthless, that a barely punctured radiator totaled the car.
6: I was fighting with demon ex-boyfriend on the way to work and bawling my eyes out. I rounded a corner and couldn’t see for the tears, which resulted in me rear ending someone else, and them rear ending the person in front of them. Airbags this time, and seeing how I was injured from them, the person I hit quieted her complaints of whiplash (in an effort to get money).
7: I took someone’s mirror off a shitty minivan, and demolished one of mine in the process. I tried to find a place to park to leave a note, but I’m a bad person in the end, and it never happened. Karma is a bitch (to me).
8: I had reaaaally bad hail damage once. Totally not my fault.
9: I got 2 speeding tickets in 24 hours going to and from work.
10: I also got a ticket sailing down the side of a mountain doing around 30 over the limit.
11: I got a ticket for stopping for 2 seconds instead of 3 at a stop sign. In my neighborhood. When I had to pee. And I was less than 100 yards from my house. That whole karma thing. Is. B. S. I’m sorry already!
12. At Kroger one night, I clipped this lady’s side. Left a note, there was an insurance mix up, and she proceeded to go nuts on me. I assured her, and the claims adjuster, I would call the police and sue if she didn’t stop with the defamation of character and harassment. (Okay, I said I was sorry, can this stop now?)
13. Christmas Day, 2010. Slid into someone’s rear end going 15. Everything was cool, until someone proceeded to hit me and run. Then the people that were cool decided to turn into money, attention, and drug hungry crazy stereotypical bitches that thought because I had a nice jacket that I had funds to give (and proceeded to make medical claims days after the accident and totally changing their story). My insurance more than doubled, and I still have to pay that shit off.
Okay, can we have an end to this? Tanklin said to just not hit things. I said that it’s really hard for me not to (evidently).
Moral of the story: don’t let me drive, and if you have to, make sure the conditions are as favorable as possible.
